My heart is hurting

So I recently heard about another mother whom had to make the same excruciating decision to let her little boy Benjamin go to heaven from Myotubular Myopathy. It breaks my heart all over again. My heart just hurts for her. It is the worst thing in the world, to know that you are doing the best thing for your sick boy, but knowing you will never see him on earth again. All week i've just been heartbroken all over again. it takes me back to the moments we had with Clayton and when we made the decision not to increase his care, but rather to keep him comfortable and let him decide. Thinking about this again shakes me to my core. I am amazed how long ago that feels, but then hearing about the loss of sweet Benjamin I go right back to that very moment. I wish I could be there with her, holding her up, telling her, it WILL be ok. Your heart will stop hurting so badely, but I can't. I want her to know it will be ok. You did this for the LOVE of your son and for that you must hurt. but it will get better.
I still have many many moments where im not sure ill be ok, but through it all, I know Clayton is in a wonderful place, pain free, and for that, it's all worth it.
So as my days go on, I hold that mommy, her husband & her sweet Benjamin in my heart and pray for their peace & comfort. And with a smile on my face I'm happy to know Clayton has another wonderful angel to play with.