I've been here before

I find myself lately asking myself, Have I been here before? have I experienced this before? With the beautiful weather we're having, I am reminded of my life a year ago. I was doing as I'm doing now, per-pairing for the arrival of our child. But oh- is it so much different this time.

So many times lately have I had that "day sha voo" feeling.  It's just a feeling that comes flooding back, that takes me right back to a year ago.

Like when I was In the shower in the morning, feeling like I'm getting ready to go to the NICU to see Clayton, or washing purple grapes to pack for my lunch, like I did while we were in the NICU. The spell & the feeling the downstairs has. I went down their to put something away, and it stopped me in my tracks. Just this time last year we were finishing up the final touched on the basement & I couldn't believe how much it felt & spelled the same. I was instantly back pregnant with Clayton, per-pairing for him. I can't believe how much I feel the same. The weather is beautiful & I'm loving it, but it brings back a lot of memories, good & bad.
On top of that, It's just a hard time of year. The first full year without Clayton, the anniversary of his birthday right around my due date with Miss Henning, & the the pending birth of miss Henning.

So I feel it's to be expected, I'm a little frazzled. I am learning to take one day at a time, do what I can & want to & just enjoy life.