Happy 1st Birthday Clayton!

Boy oh Boy, where did the year go? Today is Clayton's 1st Birthday! We have survived an entire year. Today is one of those days I have been anticipating for a long time, how would i feel, how would it go, would miss henning be here or not. So many unknowns I couldn't control. Well - guess what, it's all worked out how it should. I had secretly thought it would, but had to protect my heart in case it didn't.  With that said, it hasn't been an easy year. It's been tough, missing so much, yet gaining a lot at the very same moment. To sum it up, it's been a BITTERSWEET year. We missed out on the typical baby milestone and were left with just grieving milestones. Making it through each day was the milestones we experienced.

I have thought a lot about what we were going to do for his birthday. After much thought and the early arrival of his little sister. We decided to just have friends and family come to our house and have a get together/celebration. It was perfect, no big ordeal, just love for a special boy. It was such a heartwarming day, to see new life in his little sister and to know the love behind the beautiful boy that made it all possible. It's so very comforting and humbling to see the continued love and support.

I also have been thinking of all the things I have been wanting to say to Clayton and so I thought it would be fitting for his first birthday.

 

Dear Clayton,

  Oh how we miss you & your sweet little face. I still see you sweet face in my hands as i kiss you, like it was yesterday. I am so very thankful for you & the life you lived. You were the strongest and most inspiring little man I have ever met or ever will. You taught me more about myself & who I was meant to be in those 26 days than I had in my 29 years. You have made me the mother I am today, because of the Love you brought to us. You brought so much love to everyone who met you or even heard about you. You were one LOVED boy! You showed me the meaning of unconditional love and trust. You showed me the way to letting go and letting faith in, because of you, I have a walked through life a little lighter, realizing the gifts.
 I hope you are having a wonderful birthday party in heaven, surrounded by all your little friends and everyone who's gone before you. Oh what a party it must be!  Know that daddy, mommy & little sister are right there with you! We miss you & love you so very much and we can't wait to hold you again. Until then, enjoy every little moment in heaven.
Happy 1st birthday Clayton!
Love- MOMMY, DADDY & LITTLE SISTER

MY FIRST BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN

It's my first birthday in heaven,
what a joy to partake.
My presents are flowers and rainbows
and angel food cake.

My crib is decorated with roses
and glitter.
And the stars that shine upon me
make everything shimmer.

The other angels are dancing and
singing me songs.
Soon Jesus will be joining me,
It won't be long.

We'll all gather and pray
for my loved ones on earth,
Who love me so much,
from the day of my birth.

You see, Birthdays in Heaven
are full of happiness and cheer.
We celebrate with our loved ones,
who proceeded us here.

Yes, Birthdays in Heaven
are wonderful and gay.
One day we will celebrate together,
for that moment, Mommy and Daddy, I pray.