In Loving Memory of Clayton

In Loving Memory of Clayton-

The mention of my child’s name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you really are my friend, please don’t keep me from hearing this beautiful music: It soothes my broken heart and fills my soul with love.



Friday, May 25, 2012

she's here!



Well just a few short hours after I posted last friday. Little Miss Henning entered the world!
Friday, May 18th at 11:54 pm, Kendall Marie Henning was born. 6 Ibs 5 oz, 18" long. Safe & sound! And really QUICKLY!
She is so perfect and beautiful! I can't even start to put into words how much I love her. I can't quit staring at her and thinking, wow, she's really here & she's ours!


Kendall's birth story- born at 38 weeks & 4 days.
So after having a nice relaxing evening outside by the firepit with good friends, we cooked a late super and when i sat down to eat, I just felt weird. I had my first contraction at 10:00pm, realized it was a different feeling than my previous 2 weeks of contractions. Marcus jumped in the shower, I continued to feel not so great and realized this was it and we needed to head to Iowa City. We headed to the University of Iowa Hospitals and I paged Dr. Jen, contractions were 10 minutes apart,  Marcus drove about 100 mph to get us there, I kept saying, were fine, dont worry, when we got off the interstate, i joked and said, there is NO way were having a baby today still! we arrived at the University of Iowa Hospital parking ramp, parking ticket said 11:02pm, I was still feeling ok, I walked up to labor & delivery, checked in at 11:07, my first nurse checked me at  around 11:20- I was dilated to 7 & contractions were 3 minutes apart, Dr.Jen joined us around 11:30. Contractions were intense and I had asked for my epidural, being my platelets had been low at my last apt, they needed to test them again, waiting for the lab to come back, I was starting to realize I may not get an epidural again this time! At 11:47 I was again checked, 9 1/2" centimeters dilated, I was ready to push but waiting for the 1/2 centimeter. Dr. Jen informed me, no time for epidural. I thought to myself, great! not what i wanted, but I've done this before with no drugs, I can do it again, plus I knew I had Clayton by my side, helping me along. In all the pain and chaos with the FAST labor, I continued to talk to Clayton and ask him to protect us. After 4 minutes of pushing, Kendall Marie Henning entered the world at 11:54! safe, sound & perfect. I can't tell you how blessed I felt at that moment. A calm just came over the entire room. We were blessed!
So from start of contractions to delivery, 1 hour 54 minutes. From walking into the hospital to delivery- 47 minutes!
I always knew Clayton & her had a plan of when she would come, but I sure didnt think it would be this fast! For some reason, the 18th was the day she wanted to be born and she wasn't gonna miss it!

We didn't sleep more than a 1/2 hour saturday early am, I couldn't, I had just had my "rainbow baby girl" and everything was perfect with her, she was safe & sound, My body & mind could finally release and realize, we've gotten it! We stayed all saturday and were scheduled to go home sunday, GOING HOME!! Those were words I had dreamed about while in the NICU with Clayton, and they were true this time. Sunday morning we were headed out & going HOME!! Walking down the hallway, the same exact hallway we walked after the loss of Clayton, with Clayton we left with broken hearts and empty arms, just less than one year later, we were walking down the same hallway, with our hearts mending and arms full, of hope! It was the first time I was able to digest the life we were living. We were taking our sweet girl home & that was possible because of the loss of Clayton. BITTERSWEET.

As I look at Kendall and thank God & Clayton for her, I realize this journey we have been on. It's been the most incredibly difficult thing of my life, but I wouldn't change it. Sure I wish I could have made Clayton not sick, but that wasn't in God's plan for him. We know without Clayton & the gifts he's given us, we wouldn't have miss Kendall safe in our arms.  For that, I will forever be grateful & know how blessed we are. 


1 comment:

  1. Goodness. I have followed your journey quietly and just have to tell you that I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face, as I do each and every time I read your blog, but this time I am so HAPPY for you. Your little angel is an absolute doll and it is so beautiful to imagine your path down the same hallway, but this time with Clayton guiding you. Your little girl wanted to be safe in your arms and your little boy was anxious to make the introduction! Congratulations!

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