praying for peaceful days

This week has been tough, I have been missing Clayton all the while I am struggling with daycare and the idea of sending miss Kendall away to someone. Someone who doesnt know how much I love her and the journey we've been on to get her. I don't want to bring attention to ourselves, but I am having a hard time. I know that every other parent loves their child just as much as we do, but for me it's just very tough to let her go. Especially after what we have been through. I realize that I will never find someone - who isn't me, to watch her, I just hope i can find someone who understands where we have been and will love her like we do. I am struggling with that idea that I had to let Clayton go, and this almost feels like that.  I really didn't think i would feel this way about daycare, but it's snuck up on me this week. The reality that i have to go back to work and back to some sort of normal.
I am still grieving the loss of Clayton and I think that's why this is so hard. I have a lot going on, and im just trying to find a balance. I know in my heart things will all work out for the best, but until then I will just pray for some peaceful days.
xoxo